The Big Book of Jewish Humor

Two rival businessmen meet in the Warsaw train station. "Where are you going?" says the first man.

"To Minsk," says the second.

"To Minsk, eh? What a nerve you have! I know you''re telling me you''re going to Minsk because you want me to think that you''re really going to Pinsk. But it so happens that I know you really are going to Minsk. So why are you lying to me?"

Four men are walking in the desert.

The German says, "I''m tired and thirsty. I must have a beer."

The Italian says, "I''m tired and thirsty. I must have wine."

The Mexican says, "I''m tired and thirsty.

I must have tequila."

The Jew says, "I''m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."